I have a bad habit of looking at on-screen things that are patently inedible and saying to myself “I could make a GOOD version of that.” Although, if you’ve been following my series of AI Weirdness cookies, you know that already. (Gotta post the other ones I’ve got stored up.) This time, my brain decided to take on THIS monstrosity:

Technically, in the Cooking Simulator game it comes from, this is a cookie. A sprinkle cookie, to be exact, lovingly made by Josh of Let’s Game it Out with 4.7 kilograms of sprinkles.

If you didn’t include all the broken glass and eggshells he loves to cook with, it would probably be technically edible if it were possible, but to quote The Brain, “Why would you want to?” I’d much prefer to run with the concept, and with the blueberries and lime curd he found in the virtual pantry during the decoration phase, and make something spectacular for GOOD reasons. Without the bacon, eggs, or unibrow. Although you’re welcome to put them on your version if you like.

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I’ve made a lot of birthday cakes, for which I’m very grateful as it’s not only fun, but also means The Offspring is growing up and thus surviving. This year, when asked what he wanted on the cake, he shrugged and grunted as teens are wont to do, and so I made the executive decision to do something I’d wanted to do for years: Among Us cupcakes.

Originally I was only going to make dead crewmates, but I realized that would be A) super morbid for a birthday and B) rather confusing for anyone not well acquainted with the game. (Mostly B, if we’re being honest.) So I pivoted to half and half, stacking an unwrapped cake on top of a wrapped one to make the live ones. That way, for each dozen cupcakes, you get 4 live and 4 dead. You’ll need a little more than 1 recipe of American “buttercream” to make 8 of each from 2 dozen cupcakes. Don’t worry about making your colors match the game exactly if you don’t want to, and don’t feel like you have to mix a billion colors of frosting to make them all totally different. Shapeshifters are a thing, after all.

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